My College

Almost two years ago, my friends and I are talking about the field that we will take in college.

It's already my turn to tell what's my choice but I'm speechless. 

I don't know what to say because I haven't chosen yet. 

I don't have my 'favorite subject' or the subject where I excel most; I don't have my basis.
I don't know what course would fit me. 

I'm scared to choose because I'm afraid that I can't do it, that I might fail.
I'm scared because my family expects a lot from me, I don't want to disappoint them, 

I want to fulfill their dreams.

But, the time came and I have to choose.

I had chosen my course,
my course which I don't have any background,
a course I know that is difficult and I know that will make my head ache.

Yet, i chose.
Why?
"That's why we're going to school, to learn."

Few months later, I'm already in college.

"This is it, no more turning backs!"  

A couple of months came and I found myself having a hard time.
I asked myself, 

"Am I in the right field?"
But whatever the answer would be, I have no choice.
"No turning backs."

I did my best, but I guess my best wasn't good enough...

I tried more, 

yet, it seems that nothing happens,
nothing changes.

In God's grace,
I survived the first five semesters.
But the question is, 

"Will I take it to the next level?"
A question usually asked in reality or contest or pageant shows,
but also applicable in the course I chose,
the question I always have in my mind every semester ends.

I know that I'm doing what I can.

Though, I know that others, who are good in the subject matter; 

think that what I'm doing  might seem nothing for them. 

I believe that God knows best, 

If it's really for me, it's for me.
if it's not, hmm... 

better luck next time?

In my next course.

I don't have regrets in choosing this,
because in this course,

 I met new friends, the real one.
And I'm thankful for that.

:)

P.S.
This is my first time expressing what I feel.
Kindly understand those wrong grammars,
I'll try to improve them. :)

Comments are highly appreciated.
Thank You!